Saturday, January 31, 2009

Trouble brewing in Strawberito locker room?


Trouble in Strawberito locker room?

Early reports following Thursday night’s nail biting 45 point victory indicated a potential division between players in the Strawberito locker room. It is said that some are starting to question Jonathan Curley’s dedication to the franchise. Unnamed players are pointing to Curley’s devotion to his music as a distraction to the season.

“It’s just a matter of focus,” one player said. “You see him out there going through the motions. It’s like when he’s shooting foul shots, his mind is wrapped around potential lyrics to a new hit pop tune, and nowhere near where it should be which is to make that foul shot!”

Sources confirmed earlier this week that Jonathan Curley did play a show at the famed “Stork Club” of Oakland. Those who were there did indicate that Curley “brought the house down” with his infusion of experimental post modern electro hip hop and folky acoustic sing-alongs. “There’s just nobody out there that can touch him,” a fan said. “When he gets up there and hits play on his computer--that music kicks in and just takes you over. You have no choice but to shake your pants.”

While Curley’s music may equate to a religious experience to some, others are singing a different tune. It is believed that at least 3 members of the Strawberitos are frustrated with Curley’s off the court antics, whereas the other remaining players seem to have been seduced by Curley’s musical vision. An internet rumor indicated that at least one Strawberito member was actually seen wearing a “Team Nisto” fan shirt—Team Nisto, of course, Curley’s musical alter ego.

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In other news, Drew “Kool-Aid” Halfmann was curiously absent from Thursday night’s game. Halfmann has a history of unexplained absences during his career. Could this add to the growing rift in the Strawberito locker room? Probably not.

1 comment:

Ben said...

Consider me seduced.