Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Itos Hire New Spokesman

As part of Los Strawberito's community service of hiring troubled community members facing unemployment, the team has hired a new spokesman: Willard Mitt Romney. Here is his first interview on behalf of the team:
Q: How did the SF Itos game go last night?
WMR: Golly,we put up 100 points and won by 245.
Q: How is it possible that you won by more points than you scored?
WMR: By closing loopholes.
Q: Such as....
WMR: (pause) The Itos love freedom, if you will.
Q: What were the keys to the win?
WMR: I credit myself and my binder full of Itos. Curley never got completely shoved around and dominated by a large dufous. Adam smoked no layups.
Q: But if you look at the transcript of the ga-
WMR: (interupts) Golly, I er... gee wilikers.
Q: Is it true that you have plans to move the Itos to China where player salaries are lower, and rename them the Kunming Fruity Fruits of Auspiciousness? 
WMR: No. (pause) Yes. (pause) No. (pause) Of course. (pause) What was the question?


Ali said...

That's exactly how it went...

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jonathan said...

Team captain, Pistolito "Pete" Franklefunkle said of the team's new spokesman: "Sure, he's a slimy little turd with the integrity of a puss blister, but his capacity for revisionist history and creativity with the facts is right in line with our team's interweb branding philosophy."