tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52767918736208423682024-02-07T17:48:37.457-08:00strawberitosDrew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-85877572074881934532012-10-24T12:34:00.001-07:002012-10-25T15:46:40.585-07:00Itos Hire New Spokesman<br />
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As part of Los Strawberito's community service of hiring troubled community members facing unemployment, the team has hired a new spokesman: Willard Mitt Romney. Here is his first interview on behalf of the team:</div>
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Q: How did the SF Itos game go last night?</div>
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WMR: Golly,we put up 100 points and won by 245.</div>
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Q: How is it possible that you won by more points than you scored?</div>
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WMR: By closing loopholes.</div>
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Q: Such as....</div>
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WMR: (pause) The Itos love freedom, if you will.</div>
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Q: What were the keys to the win?</div>
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WMR: I credit myself and my binder full of Itos. Curley never got completely shoved around and dominated by a large dufous. Adam smoked no layups.</div>
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Q: But if you look at the transcript of the ga-</div>
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WMR: (interupts) Golly, I er... gee wilikers.</div>
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Q: Is it true that you have plans to move the Itos to China where player salaries are lower, and rename them the Kunming Fruity Fruits of Auspiciousness? </div>
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WMR: No. (pause) Yes. (pause) No. (pause) Of course. (pause) What was the question?</div>
Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-21576065749573932422011-01-19T13:14:00.000-08:002011-01-19T13:31:29.918-08:00Yasure: It's the Itos<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/TTdXZo4-STI/AAAAAAAABbE/jpzUVZrfFOE/s1600/itos.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/TTdXZo4-STI/AAAAAAAABbE/jpzUVZrfFOE/s400/itos.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5564011962624264498" /></a><br />Paparazzi caught several Itos celebrating their victory over P2H at a local bordello on Thursday night. The Itos relied mainly on Sethro for the victory--that, and a deal with the devil (Gerardo) that replaced their eyes with glowing embers and made Baseline and KoolAid look as if they have a foot in the grave.Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-84981991538242671722010-08-31T11:45:00.000-07:002010-08-31T11:50:00.795-07:00Paparazzi Photos Drunk Dancing Itos<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9E15HTasDR25IqO0AIuK2Wb5AR0nIfb2KZ9kTm6nVHnpbsf3AVaRvd8gR-uOvFQWayh8A_FFuTXa45DhPnxaGkS60mDWvWDdp6IlyyT8nD2gLIwVvybVPRLsMQeM4SoXld6IBvHdmze0/s1600/drunk+itos.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 168px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9E15HTasDR25IqO0AIuK2Wb5AR0nIfb2KZ9kTm6nVHnpbsf3AVaRvd8gR-uOvFQWayh8A_FFuTXa45DhPnxaGkS60mDWvWDdp6IlyyT8nD2gLIwVvybVPRLsMQeM4SoXld6IBvHdmze0/s320/drunk+itos.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511647094831297938" border="0" /></a><br />Apparently Los Strawberitos' offseason is not all windsprints and dunking drills. A photographer for Us Magazine snapped this shot of Rookie "Witness Protection" Smith and Curlito "Third Shirt's the Charm" Curley in the midst of a drunken dancing rampage.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-71862736028615904802010-08-05T14:48:00.000-07:002010-08-05T15:14:05.529-07:00Sethtastico Hubbard Free Agency Drama Finally Ends<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi08QXvftj2NFtvc1HqdjI3fH3fbL3dryZ-xe-LtJeGydyRbJWwf0rJPwU53KdH8ANOFHEWpJDChX3lA_3NJOdXvTFJL4G1r-aeBFt22xJ_eRNlDuwePRIID1NmufeBP9N3zX9IGSz3hts/s1600/press+copy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi08QXvftj2NFtvc1HqdjI3fH3fbL3dryZ-xe-LtJeGydyRbJWwf0rJPwU53KdH8ANOFHEWpJDChX3lA_3NJOdXvTFJL4G1r-aeBFt22xJ_eRNlDuwePRIID1NmufeBP9N3zX9IGSz3hts/s320/press+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502052389608741266" border="0" /></a><br />In an hour-long, televised press conference Sethtastico "Hubba Hubba" Hubbard ended the suspense and signed with Los Strawberitos. For months, the world's most famous basketball player kept sports fans on tenterhooks as he delayed deciding which team he would join.<br /><br />Los Strawberitos faced fierce competition for Hubbard. The Broken Shovels had by far the most salary-cap room of any team. Their offer was reportedly the most lucrative, and included a 40% ownership stake in Digg.com. Someone close to the negotiations also said the Shovels offered to establish an official team rule that would have made Hubbard the only team member to be allowed to shoot or dribble. It was not enough to lure Sethtastico.<br /><br />Hubbard may have been tempted by the Ninja Happymeals, and a chance to play with guard Scrawny van Scoresalot. Reportedly, when Sethtastico expressed reservations about playing with Scrawny's troubled and troublesome teammate Dhooshi bin Lhezi Rhunshismouth, the Ninja Happymeals front office offered to cut Rhunshismouth and have him shot in a local park.<br /><br />In the end though, it was Los Strawberitos with their generous beer and taco bonus package, storied history, seven season winning streak, and sartorial excellence that won Hubbard over. He concluded the prime-time press conference saying, "I've been dreaming of wearing that pink for a long, long time."<br /><br />Hubbard was not the only player Los Itos considered signing. General Manager Juanito Riccojuanazo told our reporters, "We were considering signing God. His ability to cover opponents in boils is unrivaled in the league, but in the end he just doesn't have Hubbard's combination of strength and skill. Also there were questions about his health, including one unconfirmed report that he was dead."Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-70283356536590546992010-05-13T08:35:00.000-07:002010-05-13T08:53:13.619-07:00Ringworm Brothers Forfeit, Flee<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fURgXPL0ywLeXhjf4YQhQa1i7J6-jpzfI1sc6B7Zjfg94UpG4j4XOhDPveOMgWadZs5PdarXZKbOQ_0vPcxqj4PeTNxSuARXCwt_eIYXjgyKtoKgYGSkorTmkPoNwDRyO1dE9VT2Zeg/s1600/scared-man-thumb5621790.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fURgXPL0ywLeXhjf4YQhQa1i7J6-jpzfI1sc6B7Zjfg94UpG4j4XOhDPveOMgWadZs5PdarXZKbOQ_0vPcxqj4PeTNxSuARXCwt_eIYXjgyKtoKgYGSkorTmkPoNwDRyO1dE9VT2Zeg/s320/scared-man-thumb5621790.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470783082479247058" border="0" /></a><br />Los Strawberitos completed their undefeated season last night when the Ringworm Brothers, who were to have been the Itos last regular-season opponents, forfeited the game and fled the state.<br /><br />The Ringworm captain, Galumphy van Cromagnon, left this message for Comish Dennis Huang: "We regret to inform the league that we will forfeit tonights game. It turns out we just love being alive, with all internal organs in place."<br /><br />No member of the Ringworm Brothers could be reached for comment and all appear to have left the state and gone into hiding. It appears that each player fled to a different location in hopes of not being traced. A close friend of one Ringworm, who declined to give his name, said, "Alls I can tell you is they're far away from those monsters in pink."<br /><br />Strawberitos coach, Sideline Bill, had this to say: "It would have been nice to rip their livers out. Crush their hopes and dreams like puffy popcorn in a powerful paper press. Maybe eat their children. But we'll take the win. We're looking ahead to the playoffs." Los Itos play Halfwit Hennessy next Wednesday for a spot in the world championship game.<br /><br />In late breaking news, it appears that one Ringworm Brother made the unfortunate choice of fleeing to Wayne New Jersey. he was spotted sprinting across a strip-mall parking lot, pursued by a man wearing only a John Starks jersey.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-7800705605854260072009-12-30T11:54:00.000-08:002009-12-30T12:22:42.270-08:00'Tis the Season<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyaSfpAkc10XVORt21jUHrfVTwf60KA-eP5fIFkgJqGlXUarYS3wZG8lH0FOlia4odGpKvJJjumRFpHaeZzQ2u-rzZVSE-NuSINhlsktBqmkTr_Nmu8zaj8YtpF4kGE33r1FIgzzsyOY/s1600-h/SantaDunksBasketball2.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikyaSfpAkc10XVORt21jUHrfVTwf60KA-eP5fIFkgJqGlXUarYS3wZG8lH0FOlia4odGpKvJJjumRFpHaeZzQ2u-rzZVSE-NuSINhlsktBqmkTr_Nmu8zaj8YtpF4kGE33r1FIgzzsyOY/s320/SantaDunksBasketball2.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421127093061149634" /></a><br />Los Strawberitos have always been known for giving- giving their opponents beatings, giving each other butt pats. But this holiday season, the Itos are giving to their communities in other ways. <div><br /></div><div>Gerardo "Mama Bear" Horta donated 14 pairs of tall black socks to a local orphanage, and Drew "Dr. Numbfingers, etc." Halfbeast gave one of his nicknames to a needy highschooler, who otherwise might have had to leave the school's wrestling team. Tom "Witness Protection" Smith gave dancing lessons to a group of underpriveledged youth. As one youth said afterwards, "Man, now I can dance just like Michael Jackson. The multiple slaps in the face were really worth it, and actually taught me a valuable lesson about not wearing dorky clothes such as this sweater."</div><div><br /></div><div>Pito "Pistolero" Franklemetrics donated a drawing of trees to the city of Cleveland, and Benito "Dresspants" Nuuuuuuhmmn signed autographs for 29 consecutive hours at a Jewish retirement home in Miami. Bob "Postgame" Ferris spent all of Christmas day cooking a Squenison feast at a local homeless shelter, and Curley "Jonathan" Curlito shaved his head in order to donate a lovely wig to a child with lukemia. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ben "FNG" Fanoff was scheduled to help build houses for quadrapalegic swine flu victims from Sudan, but had to cancel at the last minute. He sent an apology by text: "Cnt mk it. Powder too sweet. Srry." Juanito "Chestkingito" Riccobonito, however, came through with flying colors. As his Kwanza gift to New jersey he waived his usual 750,000 dollar speaking fee and gave an inspirational talk to a group of 4th graders in Newark. "Kids," he told them "When times get [expletive] tough, [expletive] it. [Extended expletive] grab your [expletive] by the [expletive] and just chomp down on life like it was a pair of testicles."</div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps the brightest gift of all came from Pedrazo "Tritipito" Peterson who gave an individually wrapped present to every scholarship student at two Catholic women's colleges- Our Lady of Perpetual Temptation in Santa Monica and Santa Catalina do las Piernas en Rio de Janeiro. Inside each festive gift box? A signed framed photo of Peterson in his new Brazialian swimsuit.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-23899254976626110412009-10-01T09:15:00.000-07:002009-10-01T09:30:25.077-07:00New Stat Policy Stirs Trouble<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mH50eix4Nmgl_kIYtH7XGvRB6jyDMhyphenhyphennmXL_7ZLc0pTJvHNZezD_n7oGrIHSAWQHrDB3AKwjK_GD_COhqZvtxWmMt9U9D1jNeoKFKUJXsVcvwN0lDDGef6Kna6uTQLrZeFEh8c7q-DI/s1600-h/fight.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mH50eix4Nmgl_kIYtH7XGvRB6jyDMhyphenhyphennmXL_7ZLc0pTJvHNZezD_n7oGrIHSAWQHrDB3AKwjK_GD_COhqZvtxWmMt9U9D1jNeoKFKUJXsVcvwN0lDDGef6Kna6uTQLrZeFEh8c7q-DI/s320/fight.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387669481596315634" border="0" /></a><br />Yes, Los Strawberitos have gone undefeated for four straight seasons. Yes, they have held seven different opponents scoreless, won every game by at least 45 points, and are as SOGgy as they come. But will the new UCSF policy of keeping individual player statistics drive Los Itos to crack apart at the seams?<br /><br />Beginning with tonight's games, statistics including points scored, field goal percentage, balls off the forehead, winks at gorgeous freckly girls, and butt pats will be officially tallied. Already, it seems, this has caused some infighting amongst the Itos.<br /><br />One Ito, who asked that his name be withheld, said, "Well, we can just basically assume that Gerardo will never pass the ball again. He's always been a bit of a ball hog, and this will probably push him over the edge. I think I'll only give him the ball as a last resort."<br /><br />Drew "Halfbeast" "Afternoon Delights" "Steamtrain" "Numbfingers" "Koolaid" Halfman, told this reporter, "If Curlito tries to pull me from the game just to pad his goddamn wink stats, I will fight him. There will be bare-knucklism."<br /><br />Soon enough it will become clear whether this will be yet another season of Strawberito triumph or whether their empire will crumble into ruins of bickering, uncalled-for butt pats, and bare-knucklism.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-55669223974208502862009-07-17T11:34:00.000-07:002009-07-17T11:36:47.168-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_S9TROUnK-8Q/SmDEnGsDHaI/AAAAAAAAAAM/dg-9Oz5TZJU/s1600-h/ribs.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 276px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_S9TROUnK-8Q/SmDEnGsDHaI/AAAAAAAAAAM/dg-9Oz5TZJU/s320/ribs.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359499732660198818" border="0" /></a><br />"Breaking" News: 'Ito Suffers Broken (or at least, really, really sore) ribs during WARMUPS.<br /><br />That's how badass we are, folks.my only hops are in my beerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17132104480590954264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-38267724599354970572009-07-16T16:29:00.000-07:002009-07-16T17:11:06.076-07:00Rookito Injured!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwHGkdq0PFfjcpJKsmRp6pbzRyRFPaB5ZBgXkzVH6ANYYfR9IhOmcaRsdlEzYZSaig2D_90IV0r6qrMSiRYTyeKh6QH2I8BFKFU_3GS-hQqLQhWH4z-IgcCF0z2IPRYJz2CXjSVNjlKk/s1600-h/tom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUwHGkdq0PFfjcpJKsmRp6pbzRyRFPaB5ZBgXkzVH6ANYYfR9IhOmcaRsdlEzYZSaig2D_90IV0r6qrMSiRYTyeKh6QH2I8BFKFU_3GS-hQqLQhWH4z-IgcCF0z2IPRYJz2CXjSVNjlKk/s320/tom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359204503444036594" border="0" /></a>In last Thursday's 45 point victory of the Whore Horses, Rookito Tom M. Smithito was badly injured by the flapping lip of the Whore Horses' #10- Douchebag del Floppyhair Whinesalot Jr.. Smithito's right eye was badly bruised when del Floppyhair Whinesalot's lower lip slapped el Rookito in the face as Tom drove past #10 for the dunk. <br /><br />After the game, Tomito told reporters, "Yeah, it stings, and I'm sure it'll look like high-class drag queen eye make up in the morning." He said he did not think Douchebag hit him on purpose, but rather that Douchebag "just keeps that revolting pie-hole in such a frenzy at all times. I think he has no idea where his lips are at any given moment. It's a hazard."<br /><br />Whinesalot kept his gigantic, fleshy lips in constant motion throughout the game, complaining of fouls, travels, uniform violations, illegal defense, offsides, high-sticking, and jaywalking on each and every possession. <br /><br />El Rookito was not the only casualty. Both refs, three Strawberitos, and even a fellow Whore Horse were treated for nausea and ear discomfort after listening to del Floppyhair Whinesalot Jr. for the duration of the game.<br /><br />Said Comish Dennis Hoang, "We're looking into the legality of having his vocal cords cut like they do to those yappy little dogs."Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-29837722031855857492009-04-18T13:10:00.000-07:002009-05-19T20:56:30.902-07:00Rumors Swirl About Riccobono's Demand for Trade<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzADWvi7qHVGs173Km3jtSQNu4Vc9ISW3eRveeD8EmELRJ0X6zoWLVm7Lsr-TiuJ3rqgpeQwoCKeEojdKM2mDmIwln1-YUTg8MvuQSVzEObA2pVanFsUlMwSRR9jSTpoTn6I8aUGAN8OY/s1600-h/wayne.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 143px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzADWvi7qHVGs173Km3jtSQNu4Vc9ISW3eRveeD8EmELRJ0X6zoWLVm7Lsr-TiuJ3rqgpeQwoCKeEojdKM2mDmIwln1-YUTg8MvuQSVzEObA2pVanFsUlMwSRR9jSTpoTn6I8aUGAN8OY/s320/wayne.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326132430173154962" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3lh2e2tet8UHvP1Ih1o3DArOx-Pce_-gVv1etXDEvr3on6SvQKdnfygoU05_3dQD4pmcn4V2Cc5wOiUUlr3R8_zqdXHeEhGQB8X2wAdwDhuBhg8jgTxT7SqW-QCPi_qKXZCnM2E6OJPk/s1600-h/Ricco.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;">Wayne, New Jersey</span><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3lh2e2tet8UHvP1Ih1o3DArOx-Pce_-gVv1etXDEvr3on6SvQKdnfygoU05_3dQD4pmcn4V2Cc5wOiUUlr3R8_zqdXHeEhGQB8X2wAdwDhuBhg8jgTxT7SqW-QCPi_qKXZCnM2E6OJPk/s320/Ricco.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326132031759176882" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3lh2e2tet8UHvP1Ih1o3DArOx-Pce_-gVv1etXDEvr3on6SvQKdnfygoU05_3dQD4pmcn4V2Cc5wOiUUlr3R8_zqdXHeEhGQB8X2wAdwDhuBhg8jgTxT7SqW-QCPi_qKXZCnM2E6OJPk/s1600-h/Ricco.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;">Juanito "Trade Me" Riccobono<br /></span></a></div>After Los Strawberitos humiliated the Hoopsters last Thursday night, the joy of victory permeated the Itos locker room. But the smiles, laughter, and butt pats were just a thin veneer above a swirl of rumor, controversy, and speculation. It seems that the Itos leading scorer (in more ways than one), Juanito "Chest King" Riccobonito has demanded that he be traded to the Bananitos of Wayne, New Jersey. Chest King has refused to discuss his reasons, saying only, "Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!"<br /><br />Several theories have been floated. One theory is that Riccobono is feeling the pressure of being the leading scorer on the Itos and is looking for a more relaxed role. Ricco was heard shouting "Move it, move it, move it!" at his teammates, (and post-game at several patrons at the bar) and some have speculated that Juanito is cracking up under the pressure. If he were to play for the Bananitos, Ricco would be the third string towel boy behind 7'3" Kryzyx Balanavanskinski of Dhunkbollistan.<br /><br />Some say the trade demand has less to do with basketball than it does with location. One Strawberito, who spoke on the condition of anonimity, said, "He just hates the Bay Area. The beautiful scenery, boundless nightlife, perfect weather, and freckly girls just make him nervous, and the lack of strip malls gives him hives. We just want Boner to be happy."<br /><br />Other Itos were less sanguine, and were apparently plotting to involve Riccobono in a nightclub/taser/farm animal incident that would lead to legal troubles and a Julius-style anklet that would keep the Chest King in state for the forseable future.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-46457834616513933942009-03-26T10:46:00.000-07:002009-03-26T10:50:59.553-07:00Barack Obama can talk some shit!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhow0Xlv7J-C0EUlDuDhYhNE-LFxB_yTjGPZfRDFB5sB3Dyf6GRT6ayeUd5mn5aUjxKdjWBAmPQ33ZRHMn0RolvrefVBnmvTlL1uxSLMHqX5uN6qkhCiTBxt2Un3wknYT5wt7gwGoADVHL5/s1600-h/Obama.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhow0Xlv7J-C0EUlDuDhYhNE-LFxB_yTjGPZfRDFB5sB3Dyf6GRT6ayeUd5mn5aUjxKdjWBAmPQ33ZRHMn0RolvrefVBnmvTlL1uxSLMHqX5uN6qkhCiTBxt2Un3wknYT5wt7gwGoADVHL5/s400/Obama.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317555424673085618" /></a><br />We may want to mix <a href="http://www.aprilwinchell.com/?s=barack+obama">these</a> in to the next version of our theme song.Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-20562714348175683052009-02-17T18:51:00.001-08:002009-04-17T15:08:58.955-07:00"Rogue Strawberitos destroy souls at University Open Gym"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdVxBwW513xhLKdseEAX12byna5mMekT-NsfIBj1gC-OBcp2Hbo2M0-5tX5XReQgcevp_8HpaybeeyJdgxyxpybeUEh4o89twHDIDdreK9zLBmpkCxKEi93fwlIbG53MuRB67FvxFryro/s1600-h/child_crying-1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 284px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdVxBwW513xhLKdseEAX12byna5mMekT-NsfIBj1gC-OBcp2Hbo2M0-5tX5XReQgcevp_8HpaybeeyJdgxyxpybeUEh4o89twHDIDdreK9zLBmpkCxKEi93fwlIbG53MuRB67FvxFryro/s320/child_crying-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303964666285618946" /></a><br />The RSF Open Gym at the UC Berkeley Campus was host to a series of horrid atrocities early Monday afternoon. Witnesses confirmed Tom Smith, Bob Faris, and Johnnybones at the scene, drinking blood and eating the intestines of student athletes who thought they were in for a session of simple pick up basketball, which many students on campus turn to for cardiovascular exercise and character building. Instead, said students were subjected to 3 hours of torture, cannibalism, and of course, the Strawberito legend of "soul sucking" in which one human being literally sucks the soul through the knee caps of another human being.<br /><br />"The big one," a survivor said, "they called him Bob...there was just...blood...everywhere."<br /><br />Other witnesses identified future Strawberito Tom Smith. "It was his dirty white tee shirt," an onlooker said. "Unmistakable. When you see the soiled white cotton, you rarely live to tell about it. I guess I just got lucky." This eye witness who chose to remain unnamed, "One minute he's calling out 'free throw' in an effort to designate his place on the court, the next minute, he's eating testicles."<br /><br />It seems the game had started out as any regular game of pick up basketball would. Witnesses testify that one of the victims who (surprisingly) was actually on the same team of the Strawberitos made a mistake which cost him his life. Johnnnybones acknowledged his hard work gathering a rebound and said "Take it to the hoop, shoot it, shoot it, you deserve it paison!" The blond headed, barely post pubescent victim grew angry, retorting with, "No! That's not how this game is run!" Johhnybones was simply encouraging him in an effort to bolster his confidence. It was at this point that the Strawberito rage spurred the carnage. <br /><br />Following this catalyst, the 3 Strawberitos took on the remaining 7 players. It started out with free throw range jump shots, beast moves to the hoop, and no look passes. It ended with testicle munching, spine smashing, and of course, crotchular moisture bombs from the adoring female on lookers.<br /><br />No Strawberitos could be caught for questioning by the press, however one bystander reported that after the atrocities were over, after all the carnage and sexual arousal, Tom Smith's only words were, "I could go for a McDonald's Sunday."JohnnyBoneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07941130106326681290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-89816804075319434372009-02-05T11:24:00.000-08:002009-02-05T11:51:14.821-08:00Strawberitos Win Game, Lose Money<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmi8czuRxKDLbGv-P0INIc8tD7d5s777vIGmsKd9z9j00lttpI985xrHcx6HAyTspQrzv8p3MC71-6yuRYUvT5c3cK5TVlgEGHL11tj4XqRv-lfgJ4P6akuY2iDZY-tppluRc6iXzRKo/s1600-h/thumb_punch-mouth.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 104px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmi8czuRxKDLbGv-P0INIc8tD7d5s777vIGmsKd9z9j00lttpI985xrHcx6HAyTspQrzv8p3MC71-6yuRYUvT5c3cK5TVlgEGHL11tj4XqRv-lfgJ4P6akuY2iDZY-tppluRc6iXzRKo/s320/thumb_punch-mouth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299403238664427682" border="0" /></a><br />The Office of the Commissioner has announced that Strawberitos Pete "Pistolerito" Frankletronics and Pedrazo "Tritipito" Pistolson have each been fined $10,000 for their conduct in Los Strawberitos 57-56 win over MOD/16/GLUP/17-B last Thursday.<br />In a brief interview, the Comish stated, "Mr. Franklemaster's vicious clothesline kung-fu throat punch intentional foul was just unnacceptable. I know that the competition gets fierce, but Franklefest is a role model for thousands of kids out there."<br />During the play in question, Pistolerito chased down Elbert McGangly of MOD-14/POO and thrust his fist through McGangly's throat. Blood poured forth in a fountain that soaked members of the crowd and press in the front rows. McGangly was taken to a hospital where he continues in stable but serious condition. Pistols was hit with a technical foul but was not ejected.<br />Through his agent, Frankleweb said in response to the fine, "I was just trying to hold McGangly up so he wouldn't fall. By the throat. With my fist."<br />Tritipito's fine was issued for arguing with the referee of the game, Chubbly FitzCataracts. Disagreeing with a no-call on what appeared to be a clear foul, Pedrazo yelled to FitzCataracts, "You [expletive] [expletive] fuckface. That was an [expletive] foul." When FitzCataracts did not respond, the enraged Strawberito rammed a finger of each hand into each of the ref's nostrils and pulled him close. "You [expletive] [expletive]! I'll [expletive] your [expletive] with a [expletive] goatfucking [expletive] waxing services mutherfucker!" The Comish stated, "Mr. Pedroson (sic) must learn to express his opinions in an appropriate manner."<br />Pedro told this reporter, "That's bullshit. I was totally calm. I think I said 'please' six times."<br />Both players claimed that the $10,000 fines would not be much of a hardship. Franklefeast said, "Guess I'll just have them hold the diamond dust in the cocain for a night."Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03738430229602004552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-69729839249815646672009-02-04T21:22:00.000-08:002009-02-04T21:29:44.648-08:00Nice uni's!<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwVWNnee1xWCktlD0kn4MS6bNFs77azmkUSsxjwNcEZIQrCAh-u-bzM1IICbKS8uh2J6cwh_42Yxypm5PMQ0w' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br />We all know Strawberry Creek can be a rough place, but this may be taking it too far. These hoodlums need to be dealt with.<br /><br />Watch this video--it includes a wild twist ending.<br /><br />Go 'Itos.JohnnyBoneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07941130106326681290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-32137730535986824502009-01-31T09:31:00.001-08:002009-01-31T09:33:02.283-08:00Trouble brewing in Strawberito locker room?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXEyPy9IMduF6cj8X796PMQ5-29Cuzaz96b5FHBezZ72-4TCjgxyZpH4L99_wLi23pjHCEHnBklugBZxYGJisivkgoLmY0YU9Skc9-EY41oK8_P3oQQQucRs5Ufnbv4F2Cx4kZSRpGMA/s1600-h/Curley.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXEyPy9IMduF6cj8X796PMQ5-29Cuzaz96b5FHBezZ72-4TCjgxyZpH4L99_wLi23pjHCEHnBklugBZxYGJisivkgoLmY0YU9Skc9-EY41oK8_P3oQQQucRs5Ufnbv4F2Cx4kZSRpGMA/s320/Curley.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5297512021673962994" /></a><br />Trouble in Strawberito locker room?<br /><br />Early reports following Thursday night’s nail biting 45 point victory indicated a potential division between players in the Strawberito locker room. It is said that some are starting to question Jonathan Curley’s dedication to the franchise. Unnamed players are pointing to Curley’s devotion to his music as a distraction to the season. <br /><br />“It’s just a matter of focus,” one player said. “You see him out there going through the motions. It’s like when he’s shooting foul shots, his mind is wrapped around potential lyrics to a new hit pop tune, and nowhere near where it should be which is to make that foul shot!” <br /><br />Sources confirmed earlier this week that Jonathan Curley did play a show at the famed “Stork Club” of Oakland. Those who were there did indicate that Curley “brought the house down” with his infusion of experimental post modern electro hip hop and folky acoustic sing-alongs. “There’s just nobody out there that can touch him,” a fan said. “When he gets up there and hits play on his computer--that music kicks in and just takes you over. You have no choice but to shake your pants.”<br /><br />While Curley’s music may equate to a religious experience to some, others are singing a different tune. It is believed that at least 3 members of the Strawberitos are frustrated with Curley’s off the court antics, whereas the other remaining players seem to have been seduced by Curley’s musical vision. An internet rumor indicated that at least one Strawberito member was actually seen wearing a “Team Nisto” fan shirt—Team Nisto, of course, Curley’s musical alter ego.<br /><br /> ****************************************<br /><br />In other news, Drew “Kool-Aid” Halfmann was curiously absent from Thursday night’s game. Halfmann has a history of unexplained absences during his career. Could this add to the growing rift in the Strawberito locker room? Probably not.JohnnyBoneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07941130106326681290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-82462022631764842192009-01-29T10:09:00.000-08:002009-01-29T10:10:41.054-08:00Berkeley Legend Tom Smith to join 'Itos?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3U4iEkUDEkXMPqp0CCxHDKiOtqea-9BlNq3PVltiwamdDrE82G8h98qx3Nj1GQpT8di4Rpg53j7Byb5h3CBbRJQI0tWQHCPYYK2FSwEQjmYPPV08_OrdBqVpDXeC4FlLVLytS0FDaTdY/s1600-h/tom.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 198px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3U4iEkUDEkXMPqp0CCxHDKiOtqea-9BlNq3PVltiwamdDrE82G8h98qx3Nj1GQpT8di4Rpg53j7Byb5h3CBbRJQI0tWQHCPYYK2FSwEQjmYPPV08_OrdBqVpDXeC4FlLVLytS0FDaTdY/s320/tom.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296779724016208258" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Rumors were swirling early Wednesday afternoon after an insider leaked confidential information from within the Strawberito organization.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>At this point, nothing is confirmed and no one has been identified, although many sources point to current Strawberito guard, Ben Sanoff, as the potential leak due to his close ties with the Oakland Tribune and the San Francisco Chronicle.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The intergoogle message boards were electrified by rumors of a new potential free agent signing for the up and coming Strawberito season 3.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Again, nothing is confirmed, but many believe the club has been in negotiations with long time <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Berkeley</st1:place></st1:city> legend, Tom Smith, to fill the vacant roster spot, in an effort to fortify the Strawberito front court.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Smith denied comment to reporters as he was seen exiting an <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Oakland</st1:place></st1:city> night club called The Stork Club late Tuesday night.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Leave me alone,” Smith said.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When asked about his slightly hipster appearance, Smith smirked and replied,” Hey, my wife dresses me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Happy wife, happy life.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>With that, he disappeared into the shadows.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Stay tuned for more late breaking information as this story develops.</p>JohnnyBoneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07941130106326681290noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-83429464648983651802009-01-25T15:48:00.000-08:002009-01-25T16:24:11.673-08:00Strawberitos Winter 2009 Schedule<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/SX0CR3rIZGI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/vPp4ZtwKbsc/s1600-h/sexy_strawberry.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 244px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/SX0CR3rIZGI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/vPp4ZtwKbsc/s400/sexy_strawberry.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295391242883458146" /></a><br />15 Jan 9 pm Booty<br />22 Jan 6 pm Advent Ballers<br />29 Jan 9 pm MOD 6/17<br />05 Feb 6 pm Flander's Five<br />12 Feb 9 pm Hoopsters<br />19 Feb 6 pm Boardcrashers<br />26 Feb 6 pm Shockers<br />05 Mar 6 pm Playoffs<br />12 Mar 7 pm FinalsDrew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-59831594401450494602009-01-24T13:15:00.000-08:002009-01-25T17:16:06.626-08:00Strawberito Board Announces Official Drink of Los Strawberitos.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhRqFAWSpTE0CLtTyR3F09dQRC8aVgGf4dMGQXzcjNHb77GEpWfMZkKHHT8J7bq5UN7iGAbO1nwacCrJeHj3cvlBJLm-yBSWKQ0qPgHWfw5ToxycW86Wem9whOeV4njx25HxFt2B4zvnx8/s1600-h/flower10.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhRqFAWSpTE0CLtTyR3F09dQRC8aVgGf4dMGQXzcjNHb77GEpWfMZkKHHT8J7bq5UN7iGAbO1nwacCrJeHj3cvlBJLm-yBSWKQ0qPgHWfw5ToxycW86Wem9whOeV4njx25HxFt2B4zvnx8/s400/flower10.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295404795932369090" /></a><br />The elder statesmen of the Strawberito Board held a press conference earlier today to announce the induction of the Official Beverage of the Los Strawberitos franchise. The apropriately named, Strawberito, was announced after much deliberation. Many were shocked and appalled when the announcement was made as many believed Pabst Blue Ribbon to be the favorite. The Strawberito is born whence vodka, strawberry liquere, lime, mint, sugar, and soda are combined in a frost mug, topped off by a pink umbrella.<div><br /></div><div>For best results, consume after 10 PBR's.</div><br />The Strawberito is the national drink of the Czech Republic where millions have toasted the Strawberitos with "Long's drinks" at <a href="http://www.orea.cz/_dataPublic/attachments/b47631f5ebc8d2d52ce4030246baf4f2/Nabidka_koktejlu.pdf">Café Egerländer</a> at Prague's Hotel Monty for a mere 125 koruna.JohnnyBoneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07941130106326681290noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-46249910309324566662009-01-23T12:59:00.000-08:002009-01-25T17:22:43.106-08:00NCAA Traveling Rules<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXhlgdCV8rdmexhzauOZLC04yFJWBPinCER2jR221vMB1cppWBDmUqNqaRFnSpcZ3Ixdb7s7zDeURaZOlq52kg2JxZSIDKGD-GVX6wfQ6VAZB8UY2087rjvjgidjqlA_zCNIbNzfqQhQB3/s1600-h/TBear_13BasketballINTc-2lrg.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXhlgdCV8rdmexhzauOZLC04yFJWBPinCER2jR221vMB1cppWBDmUqNqaRFnSpcZ3Ixdb7s7zDeURaZOlq52kg2JxZSIDKGD-GVX6wfQ6VAZB8UY2087rjvjgidjqlA_zCNIbNzfqQhQB3/s400/TBear_13BasketballINTc-2lrg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5295406724848481394" /></a><br />Rule 4, Section 48. <br />Pivot:<br /><br />Art. 1. A pivot takes place when a player who is holding the ball steps once<br />or more than once in any direction with the same foot, while the other foot,<br />called the pivot foot, is kept at its point of contact with the playing court.<br /><br /><br />Rule 4, Section 66. <br />Travel:<br /><br />Art. 1. Traveling occurs when a player holding the ball moves a foot or both<br />feet in any direction in excess of prescribed limits described in this Rule.<br />Art. 2. A player who catches the ball with both feet on the playing court<br />may pivot, using either foot. When one foot is lifted, the other is the pivot<br />foot.<br />Art. 3. A player who catches the ball while moving or dribbling may stop<br />and establish a pivot foot as follows:<br /> a. When both feet are off the playing court and the player lands:<br /> 1. Simultaneously on both feet, either may be the pivot foot;<br /> 2. On one foot followed by the other, the first foot to touch shall be<br /> the pivot foot;<br /> 3. On one foot, the player may jump off that foot and simultane-<br /> ously land on both; neither foot can be the pivot foot.<br /> b. When one foot is on the playing court:<br /> 1. That foot shall be the pivot foot when the other foot touches in a<br /> step;<br /> 2. The player may jump off that foot and simultaneously land on<br /> both; neither foot can then be the pivot foot.<br />Art. 4. After coming to a stop and establishing the pivot foot:<br /> a. The pivot foot may be lifted, but not returned to the playing court,<br /> before the ball is released on a pass or try for goal;<br /> b. The pivot foot shall not be lifted before the ball is released to start a<br /> dribble.<br />Art. 5. After coming to a stop when neither foot can be the pivot foot:<br /> a. One or both feet may be lifted, but may not be returned to the play-<br /> ing court, before the ball is released on a pass or try for goal;<br /> b. Neither foot shall be lifted, before the ball is released, to start a drib-<br /> ble.Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-17755694577689714492009-01-23T12:25:00.000-08:002009-01-23T13:05:43.969-08:00Happy Ending for 12 Gauge12 Gauge hits the game winner on Sunday at the Creek.<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxqU-8qQHgVFc6BRco-Yr93DxjM0r6QkJkWvHjy0qB47V9Wtd70jh7GuJ0y3PawGioQ12MGJQEy6EZIK648lA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-32740764150087438042009-01-23T12:05:00.000-08:002009-01-23T13:15:32.558-08:00Strawberitos win by 45 Again!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/SXonC5V2EqI/AAAAAAAAAQc/d-kFnFQMhXs/s1600-h/nude2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 179px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FzKf9JcZINc/SXonC5V2EqI/AAAAAAAAAQc/d-kFnFQMhXs/s200/nude2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294587242633106082" /></a>Most observers wondered how the 'itos would deal with the absence of star point guard, shooting guard, power forward, and enforcer, the "Chest King". <br /><br />It turns out that the Chest King, not Brad Pitt, is the team's actual clubhouse cancer as they rolled to victory without him. The Strawberitos were down 45-43 at the half but ran off 47 unanswered points largely by forcing their opponents to pick up traveling violations and then heaving full court shots without any preliminary pivoting or dribbling. <br /><br />The league commissioner, eager to catch a glimpse of his favorite team, expressed awe and fascination. All of the strawberitos (with the exception of Chest King) got some that evening.Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-63369396596418044782009-01-23T11:53:00.000-08:002009-01-23T12:04:36.266-08:00The Angel Awards (The Strawberries)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtNUv2n1OkU62pVqcx1_Ugu_lWEP9j4lZJnmh1qb0zcfrbBaEJAKK2Oo40R79QLzb8vgc2w4WxthPkTMeuOhHw_UYRNDLzT8fQhUHRlKsKUVWALeoUCzgsIFJg9mEwowDMNbOJMcWbBasU/s1600-h/trophy.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 252px; height: 360px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtNUv2n1OkU62pVqcx1_Ugu_lWEP9j4lZJnmh1qb0zcfrbBaEJAKK2Oo40R79QLzb8vgc2w4WxthPkTMeuOhHw_UYRNDLzT8fQhUHRlKsKUVWALeoUCzgsIFJg9mEwowDMNbOJMcWbBasU/s400/trophy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294582547386381250" /></a><br />John “Chest King”--Most Vigorous Penetration/Mother’s Vocation: Prostitute<br /><br />Pedro “Tri-Tip”—-Yes We Can! Dive for Loose Balls Award<br /><br />Drew “Kool-Aid”--Elder Statesman <br /><br />Curley “Curley”-—Music and Choreography<br /><br />"Pistol" Pete--“We should have beat those guys!”Post-Hoc Optimism Award<br /><br />Bob “12-Gauge”—Party Planner<br /><br />“Original Ben”—Best Dressed<br /><br />Ben “FNG”-—Hired Gun<br /><br />Josh “Brad Pitt”—Best Eyes and Clubhouse Cancer <br /><br />Jeff “Happy Ending”—The Missing IngredientDrew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-70203436767159992212009-01-23T11:25:00.000-08:002009-01-25T17:01:07.998-08:00The Strawberry Creek Almanac<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB0Ldlu_npaUxgujmzYsbp5JbfUOVI91EIpM_gNiG_CqDdagXg0nyk3arXaCjsicmi6utJzUTnJzJQoZj4EImu-MpkQn9KtUTGXG2zpVV4hyFLatSrWDCxGmHcYXUPXLtRd4Osf0USkJhJ/s1600-h/Almanac36.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 123px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB0Ldlu_npaUxgujmzYsbp5JbfUOVI91EIpM_gNiG_CqDdagXg0nyk3arXaCjsicmi6utJzUTnJzJQoZj4EImu-MpkQn9KtUTGXG2zpVV4hyFLatSrWDCxGmHcYXUPXLtRd4Osf0USkJhJ/s200/Almanac36.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294594017383190546" /></a><br /><br />Please contribute to the <a href="http://sites.google.com/site/strawberitos/strawberry-creek-almanac">Strawberry Creek Almanac</a>--a listing of Creek ballers past and present along with their noms de guerre and notable characteristics.<br /><br />Can the pleasure of a few philosophers when they gaze on the seven threads of light separated by the Newtonian prism compare with the ease and comfort every man living might feel seven times a day, by discharging freely the wind from his bowels? Especially if it be converted into a perfume! -- Benjamin FranklinDrew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-48536367234934755842008-10-30T00:10:00.000-07:002008-10-30T00:30:03.302-07:00Strawberitos Win Again!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjozd5eFp6Du7FOww1G4W1t93kIvEGYpihgjuHaB9GGgDW4HIiHhza31UwWLPO9m8n9EK6n9KdetnuYCYHy2YwOxkcy520L4NuebVrGKyU2VkjQwUOES1Xs6d_3pwGPS7tUaKF4OMdxfV7B/s1600-h/pink+shoe.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjozd5eFp6Du7FOww1G4W1t93kIvEGYpihgjuHaB9GGgDW4HIiHhza31UwWLPO9m8n9EK6n9KdetnuYCYHy2YwOxkcy520L4NuebVrGKyU2VkjQwUOES1Xs6d_3pwGPS7tUaKF4OMdxfV7B/s400/pink+shoe.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262840858128676098" /></a> Los Strawberitos went up by as many as eleven on strong shooting from Tri-Tip and Frankeltron and a dominant performance by Chest King but T-Rex pulled within 2 in the closing minutes. Curley sealed the victory at the line, 54-50. Original Ben and Kool-Aid racked up major fantasy points.Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5276791873620842368.post-87594377185493768752008-10-23T22:13:00.000-07:002008-10-28T22:36:52.063-07:00Strawberitos win by 45!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6WqjuGejki3aT0261rHQ_CmC0qWceFjU2YCQAj9ig6w12afGVPzLDjcV2REUthQURsddGOeKhMQbr5WOxVWOuDbMS3kQL_yITx8rTnnCJG0y4WHNPPfz3380uDW-8X3tafvPgf4S0gwgU/s1600-h/Miami+vice18.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 374px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6WqjuGejki3aT0261rHQ_CmC0qWceFjU2YCQAj9ig6w12afGVPzLDjcV2REUthQURsddGOeKhMQbr5WOxVWOuDbMS3kQL_yITx8rTnnCJG0y4WHNPPfz3380uDW-8X3tafvPgf4S0gwgU/s400/Miami+vice18.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260584501544915346" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHJliV2Ue5mLGXYc5FIUEZHtn8jJVyTqKBx4pYAMEZlbws6ok_SpoaVR95Yz1TqU-zw7GhO64Qg4mprOXKPNGVBWqnYco1YCnn6Za4fyf_vyamjKNFpIipXzpbO2f_WxFYXrSbbkn6zTP/s1600-h/chesskinglogo3gq.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 55px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHJliV2Ue5mLGXYc5FIUEZHtn8jJVyTqKBx4pYAMEZlbws6ok_SpoaVR95Yz1TqU-zw7GhO64Qg4mprOXKPNGVBWqnYco1YCnn6Za4fyf_vyamjKNFpIipXzpbO2f_WxFYXrSbbkn6zTP/s400/chesskinglogo3gq.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262445406338154850" /></a>4-0 Baby! Playoffs Here We Come!Drew Halfmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15672641455185221691noreply@blogger.com0